Written on Friday, August 29, 2008 by Jessica

I'm happy to report that I survived the first four days of my diet. I did not go on a destructive rampage, although it was comforting to know that I had an instant posse to count on in case I decided to go postal.

Only four pounds left till "Juno." :)

Clever but Wrong: How to fail math and science tests with dignity


Written on Tuesday, August 26, 2008 by Jessica

I hate watching what I eat


Written on Monday, August 25, 2008 by Jessica

But I have to. No choice. And I'm in a really pissy mood right now because I feel like binging on, I don't know, about five candy bars or something.

Anyhow, I've set some new weight-loss goals for myself. I need to lose over 90 pounds just to reach a healthy weight. My sister suggested thinking of it as losing ten pounds nine times. So maybe I'll do that. I need to lose ten pounds. I can do that, right?

My reward for losing ten pounds will be to buy a copy of "Juno," my favorite movie from last year.

Now, excuse me while I go fix myself some chocolate milk without chocolate.

Rate your marriage


Written on Monday, August 18, 2008 by Jessica

Here's a fun marital rating system from 1939, and it actually appears to be real.

Better than sex


Written on Monday, August 18, 2008 by Jessica

64% of you would rather give up sex than hot water.
36% would say "bye bye" to hot water forever.

Early on in the polling, an overwhelming number of respondents were not willing to give up hot water. When I told a coworker, he said, "You must not have very many guys who read your blog."

Here's the chart.

Fresh carrots


Written on Friday, August 15, 2008 by Jessica

Really, a spray-on condom?


Written on Friday, August 15, 2008 by Jessica

Yes, really, but only in prototype stage:,8599,1832445,00.html

Today's latex products don't dry fast enough, so the spray-on condom is just a prototype for now.

So, do you think that Time magazine headline ("Spray-On Condoms: Still a Hard Sell") is intentional?



Written on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 by Jessica

We got Seth a dog a couple of months ago. Noni. Here's a pic.

She a mix: Newfoundland lab and chow. Three years old. I'm not really into dogs (or any animal, for that matter), but I guess I'll do anything for Seth.

Annoying jingle


Written on Tuesday, August 12, 2008 by Jessica

Should've gone to
I could've seen this coming at me like an atom bomb.
Okay, does anyone ever see an atom bomb coming at them? Isn't an atom bomb actually one of those "never knew what hit 'em" situations? If so, that means that, by their own admission, it doesn't help a whit to sign up for

Sorry. I know I should get a life, but it's been bugging me for awhile.

"Sex not always important to folks"


Written on Monday, August 11, 2008 by Jessica

That's the headline for the current ninth most popular article at So far, my poll takers would agree. Most of you would rather give up sex than hot water. If you haven't voted yet, tell us what you'd rather give up. (Poll is at the right, under the Twitter stream.)

Wall street bonuses expected to decline by 15 to 45%


Written on Thursday, August 07, 2008 by Jessica

Awwwww, poor rich banker bastards. I feel soooooo sorry for them.
Boo. Hoo.

The executives deserve it, but I do feel bad for the regular joes and janes who also work at these places. They're going to take a hit, too.

Jane in the news


Written on Tuesday, August 05, 2008 by Jessica

The New York Times ran an op-ed piece that compares Obama to Mr. Darcy.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Barack Obama must continue to grovel to Hillary Clinton’s dead-enders, some of whom mutter darkly that they will not only not vote for him, they will never vote for a man again.

Jezebel hates it.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that Maureen Dowd loves writing absurd, gimmicky, cutesy op-eds.

$514 on lotteries?


Written on Friday, August 01, 2008 by Jessica

According to this article, "The average [American] household spends $514 a year on lotteries."

What? $514? That's just an average, mind you, which means lots of households have to be spending lots more in order offset households like mine that spend roughly... hang on, carry the 1... ZERO dollars on lotteries.