Seven-Things List


Written on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 by Jessica

Seven Things I Want to Do Before I Die

  1. Lose eighty pounds. I'd settle for sixty-five.
  2. Publish something.
  3. Visit Bath and Steventon (places where Jane Austen spent time).
  4. Not care about money.
  5. Own a first-edition Pride and Prejudice. (Never gonna happen. Copies run from £25,000 to £70,000. A pristine set auctioned for £100,000 a few years ago.)
  6. Have a room in the house I can refer to as the library.
  7. Live on a river.

Seven Things I Can Do

  1. Remember obscure grammar rules.
  2. Knit scarves.
  3. Find stuff online.
  4. Manage finances.
  5. Read Pride and Prejudice over and over.
  6. Make the best peanut butter fudge.
  7. Write (tech writer by trade).

Seven Things I Can't Do
  1. Keep my glasses clean.
  2. Keep my house clean.
  3. Be happy.
  4. Fly a plane.
  5. Not care about money.
  6. Stay away from sweets.
  7. Understand how someone could describe Katrina as potentially "our equivalent of the Asian tsunami."

Seven Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex

I like a guy who is:
  1. Sweet.
  2. Clever.
  3. Courteous.
  4. A sucker for kids.
  5. Blue-eyed.
  6. Chivalrous.
  7. Handy.

Seven Things I Say Most Often
  1. Good grief.
  2. It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
  3. Oh, please.
  4. Yeah, right. (The only case of a double positive that creates a negative meaning.)
  5. [I'm at a loss. Maybe my friends and family will have suggestions of what I say all the time.]

Seven Celebrity Crushes
  1. Mr. Darcy (real name: Colin Firth).
  2. Prince William
  3. Um, let's see...
  4. This is hard. I don't normally have crushes on celebrities.
  5. I still have a crush on my husband, though...
  6. ...despite is hazel eyes.
  7. Goran Visnjic, I guess.

"Our...Asian Tsunami"


Written on Wednesday, August 31, 2005 by Jessica

I don't understand how someone could even suggest that Katrina could come close to "our equivalent of the Asian tsunami".

CNN has removed all trace of the quote from their website (undoubtedly due to potential backlash), but I do have a screen shot of a cached page that contained the quote in a link. And as you can see from the first link, someone else had the foresight to reproduce the quote instead of just linking to it.

Even if no one had been evacuated, we would never have approached the tsunami in terms of loss of life because we have infinitely more resources to mount an immediate rescue operation.

Root canal is next Friday


Written on Tuesday, August 30, 2005 by Jessica

Good grief. That dentist applied a piece of ice directly to my tooth. I told him even before he touched me that we could dispense with the ice; I assured him I would be able to feel it very well, thank you very much. Apparently, he wanted to watch me come right out of that seat, which I did. I'm happy to have provided his daily amusement.

Heavy heart


Written on Monday, August 29, 2005 by Jessica

I have a cousin in prison who was convicted of managing a drug house a couple of years ago. Due to federal minimum sentencing guidelines for drug crimes, killers often spend less time in prison than Amie will. If you search the Federal Bureau of Prison's online inmate locator, Amie's expected release date is listed as 2021. I've created a blog to help the family keep in touch. Amie can't read the blog, but I can send her printouts when family members leave comments.

eBay porn


Written on Tuesday, August 23, 2005 by Jessica

My baby sister is selling porn on eBay. Okay, she's not a baby. She's twenty years old, but I'm still freaked out. She says, "You gotta make a living somehow." Maybe it's not the porn that freaks me out so much as the lively selling descriptions she's uses. I don't think I'm going to tell my mom.

Root canal


Written on Tuesday, August 16, 2005 by Jessica

I need a root canal! :(

Top Ten Best Commericals Ever


Written on Thursday, August 11, 2005 by Jessica

1. Citi's first commercial in the "Identity Theft" series. "First, I emptied the checking account, and then I hit the mall, and there in the window was this sexy little outfit and oh my gosh! I just had to have it! Fifteen hundred dollars for a leather bustier?..."

2. Where's the Beef? (Link is kind of a pain. You'll have to watch a different commerical first. Then "Where's the Beef?" is supposed to load automatically. If it doesn't, you have to click the "Playing" link.)

3. The Isuzu commericals that David Leisure did back in the day.

4. Budweiser frogs.

List still in progress.

All hail the great Kim Jong-il


Written on Wednesday, August 03, 2005 by Jessica

I love this article. Kim Jong-il for president!