Ugly dog Sam

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Written on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 by Jessica

According to a CNN internet poll, 6% of people have seen dogs uglier than Sam. I'm skeptical.

The ultrasound

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Written on Wednesday, November 30, 2005 by Jessica

As I lay on the bed, I asked the ultrasound tech if anyone had ever wet herself. She said no, which only increased my dread of being the first.

I never knew that getting an ultrasound involved such torture. I had to drink a quart of water an hour before arriving, and they wouldn't let me pee! I apparently have a half-quart-sized bladder or smaller.

"I promise you," said the ultrasound tech, "there's a reason why we need you to have a full bladder. We don't make you drink all that water for the heck of it."

But she didn't go on to explain the reason, so I became suspicious. Looking back, however, I'm sure they have an excellent reason: free entertainment for the staff. I'm sure they take bets when you arrive regarding whether you'll be the first woman ever to wet herself. They probably rate everyone's song and dance routine, too. I danced all over the place, because I certainly could sit or bend my body anywhere near my bladder. I better have scored at least an 8.

Thanksgiving announcement

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Written on Tuesday, November 29, 2005 by Jessica

Well, Bob and I drove all over Northern Michigan in a blizzard on Thanksgiving day to announce my pregnancy. (I never announced it properly on this blog, though you might have discovered it if you happened upon certain congratulatory comments.) I'll be 10 weeks on December 1.

Everyone was properly overjoyed. My mother-in-law cried. I'm certainly glad someone is happy, because I'm terrified.

Redundant redundancies

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Written on Friday, November 18, 2005 by Jessica

A couple of days ago during the weather report on the radio, they guy said, "Tonight, expect five to seven inches of snowfall to fall." He hesitated a little on the word "fall," clearly recognizing how ridiculous it sounded, but he'd already said "to." He had to finish the sentence somehow.

Non parishable goods

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Written on Thursday, November 17, 2005 by Jessica

I was horrified this morning to see a television ad for a local organization requesting donations of "non parishable goods." Someone please hit me on the head with a two-by-four to put me out of misery.

With respect to spelling and grammar, I try not to be too judgemental when I read e-mail, blogs, chat, etc. But if you're going to plaster your words someplace for all the world to see (e.g., sign, restaurant menu, newspaper ad, etc.) and you want to maintain some sense of credibility, for the love of god, please run a spell check.

The worst part is that even if the ad's creator had run a spell check, we still would have ended up with "non perishable goods." This drives me crazy. "Non" is not a word. It's a prefix. It has to be attached to a word to give it meaning. I'd even settle for "non-perishable," even though the hyphen shouldn't be there.

The Dilbert Blog: Unfair Stereotypes

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Written on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 by Jessica

This amused me.

Horrified...

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Written on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 by Jessica

I'm working with some third-party software that we've licensed for use with our own company's software. I added some contact information. When I was finished, the screen said, "Thank you. You have successfully added contact information." To get back to where I came from, I actually had to click a button that said, "You are welcome." In other words, the program is thanking me for adding the information, and I'm saying, "You're welcome." Seriously, that's right up at the top of the list of the stupidest things I've ever seen in software.

Cable's out again

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Written on Wednesday, November 16, 2005 by Jessica

The cable went out again this morning. Yet another windstorm knocked it out. It has been out so much that I'm now up to Book 5 in the Harry Potter series. I was reading Book 3 just six days ago.

Speaking of windstorms, I noticed a freighter in the bay yesterday. When I went to work today, there were two more frieghters. We never see freighters in the bay. They must be taking shelter from the storm.

Cable's out

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Written on Thursday, November 10, 2005 by Jessica

Our cable went out in a windstorm yesterday. We have no antenna, which means no TV. Call the military to restore order. I spent yesterday evening reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azakaban.

Dummies at Netflix

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Written on Monday, November 07, 2005 by Jessica

Using Netflix's minireview feature, I tried to leave a review about "House of Sand and Fog" (good movie) for my friends. My review failed to save for the following reason: "Any single word cannot exceed 16 characters."

WTF? Netflix, do you mean to tell me that I'm required to dumb down my reviews if I want to leave a minireview for my friends? Who came up with an arbitrary limit like sixteen, anyhow?

The offending word? "Misunderstandings," as in "a series of misunderstandings...." I had to change it to "a series of mix-ups," which isn't quite right. They were misunderstandings, not mix-ups.

Halloween candy

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Written on Thursday, November 03, 2005 by Jessica

I've literally felt sick since Monday night due to all the candy I've eaten. I'm finally starting to recover, but only because I finally let up on the candy yesterday afternoon. I still feel like a I have brick in my stomach. I'm fairly disgusted with myself because I've realized that I'm like a dog who eats a week's worth of food in one night because its owner went on vacation.

The Name Game, Part II

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Written on Wednesday, November 02, 2005 by Jessica

I decided to look for more recent statistics on the number of women who change their name upon marriage, because almost every young woman I know thinks hard about keeping her name when she gets married, but I don't know anyone who actually does. According to this article, eighteen percent of brides polled in 2003 planned to keep their birth names. Fifteen percent would hyphenate, and the remaining sixty-seven percent planned to change it.

Side note: I remember that my mother-in-law suggested hyphenation. Ignoring the fact that I would have a seventeen-letter last name, I had no intention of doing any such thing. I told her that I would hyphenate if Bob hyphenated. :)

So eighteen percent were name keepers in 2003. Interesting. I don't know anyone other than myself (and assorted celebrities) who kept their birth names. One coworker uses her birth name here at work, but only because her husband works here, too. She wanted to avoid prying questions from new employees (Is Kevin your husband? Brother?), so her mail box, name plate, etc., still have her birth name. Her paychecks, however, have her married name.

Sort of related: Bob has always enjoyed messing with telemarketers who ask for Mrs. HisName or Mr. MyName. "Sorry, no one by that name lives here." Plenty of people think he's Mr. MyName.