Worst mommy in the world


Written on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 by Jessica

In a show of solidarity with S., who wonders if she's the worst mom ever, I thought I'd reveal my secret reasons for believing I'm the worst mommy in the world:

Bad mommy episode #1:
When my sweet baby boy was tiny and new, a mere nine days old, I dropped him. That's right. I dropped my baby, which officially makes me a worse mother than Britney Spears.

In a moment of utter exhaustion, I fell asleep while rocking him. He slipped from my arms and fell to the floor. As you might imagine, I burst into sobs at least as loud as Seth's. Thank god for Bob, who rushed out and took over. He blamed himself, saying he should've been helping more. He conveniently forgot that I'd been declining his offers to help. I don't know how single moms do it.
Don't worry, there's more. Much more.
Bad mommy episode #2:
Just yesterday, the pediatrician recommended I eliminate dairy from my diet for three days to see if that's what is causing Seth's sour tummy/gas. And what did I do today? Bought a quart of chocolate milk and drank it all. I rationalized it by saying that cutting back was better than ignore the doctor completely. (Yes. Believe it or not, a quart of milk in a day is considered cutting back for me. I usually drink a half gallon or even more. Is it any wonder that Seth is having problems?)

Bad mommy episode #3:
My child desperately needs a bath.

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