Places not to live


Written on Monday, October 02, 2006 by Jessica

One day in tenth grade biology, we had to dissect a giant grasshopper. Thank god it was already dead. I asked the teacher, whose name I can no longer remember, where these hideous creatures came from. North Carolina. That's when I decided I could never live in North Carolina.

Thanks to Ms. Zee and beloved Mr. Hop, I've also crossed Southern California off the list. (Actually, though, it was already off the list due to the San Andreas fault.)

I'm beginning to wonder if I should cross Michigan off the list. My new home, while not exactly infested with earwigs, has its share of the creatures. I hate bugs. I suppose it could be worse. At least I can kill* earwigs. I'm too terrified of grasshoppers and water crickets to get near enough to kill them unless I have a can of WD-40, which works wonders against water crickets. I don't know about grasshoppers, though.

*I can kill most earwigs. I completey mangled one the other day, though, and even though I was sure it was dead, it crawled off when I left the room. Hopefully it crawled off to die.

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  1. Danielle/Brooke |

    I am sorry to hear about your infestation. When we bought our first house it has been empty for a good year and was infested with giant cockroaches. the kind that fly!

  2. Jessica |

    Cockroaches can fly?? Oh, the horror. I'm going to repeat what I told Ms. Zee about the grasshopper, "Oh my good god in heaven. Holy hell." Crossing Tennssee off the list. In fact, I think I might make a brand new list of Places Not to Live and put Tennessee right at the very top -- above the San Andreas fault. After all, the Big One might not happen in my lifetime, but flying cockroaches are forever.

  3. Shana |

    I will never forget the time I was sitting on the floor in my living room playing with my 2 year old daughter (oh, and I was about seven months pregnant) and felt something tickly on my leg... looked down and there was a scorpion crawling up my BARE LEG.

    I'm surprised I didn't have a heart attack I was so freaked out. The baby and I went to stay at my mother's and didn't come back until pest control had been out and thoroughly de-scorpionized the house and the fumes had dissipated.

    I still shudder when I remember this and it's been 3 years.

    Guess you'll have to cross Arizona off your list as well, even though we have broadband.

  4. Jessica |

    Hmmmm, let me see. Scorpions in exchange for broadband... I've always wondered how I would feel about a scorpion. I've never encountered one in real life. They're not a bug, and they don't fly, so maybe I could tolerate them. Hard to say until one is crawling on my bare leg. I'll bet no one ever saw a pregnant woman get up so fast. Speaking of staying at mother's, see the related Slumber Party entry.

  5. Shana |

    Yes, well, the thing about scorpions is that their stings are quite poisonous. Small children can die if they are stung, so I freaked out because of my daughter. Also I had no idea what would happen to Max-in-the-womb if I were stung.

    A friend of mine who was also pregnant was stung by a scorpion a few weeks after my incident, and she and Maya were fine... still, pretty scary to contemplate.

    I don't know. I get an irrational atavistic reaction to scorpions -- spiders too. Maybe it's the 8 legs.

    My mom really hates crickets just like you. Back when we kept lizards as pets she liked watching them eat their dinner (live crickets) just to watch the crickets die. Isn't that awful?

  6. Jessica |

    Oh, the memories! I once had a summer job that involved taking care of lizards and snakes. I remember the first time I went to pick up the package that contained their dinner -- a cage full of crickets. Ugh! I was horrified, and made a coworker carry it.

    I have to admit, the idea of a scorpion's sting scares me, but at least it's a rational fear, not like the bug thing.


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