BREAKING NEWS!

2

Written on Tuesday, November 07, 2006 by Jessica

STOP THE PRESSES! I received very important CNN breaking news in my mailbox:

Britney Spears files for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.
Someone please shoot me. Why does this deserve breaking-news treatment? I don't give a rat's ass about ol' Brit and her hubby.

Don't they know that today is election day? Isn't there any news more worthy of my attention?

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2 Comments

  1. Zoe Matthews-Aguilar |

    Gosh Jessica, sometimes you are sooooo like, not all there and stuff...hmmm shame on you.

    Brit and KFed are breaking up and you don't care...man!! You might not care, but I sooooo like do, you know what I mean?

    Gosh darn it..

     
  2. Jessica |

    Then you should, like, totally sign up for CNN breaking news announcements. Seriously, girlfriend! It's literally a lifesaver! Literally!

     

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