BREAKING NEWS!
Written on Tuesday, November 07, 2006 by Jessica
STOP THE PRESSES! I received very important CNN breaking news in my mailbox:
Britney Spears files for divorce from her husband Kevin Federline, citing irreconcilable differences.Someone please shoot me. Why does this deserve breaking-news treatment? I don't give a rat's ass about ol' Brit and her hubby.
Don't they know that today is election day? Isn't there any news more worthy of my attention?
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Gosh Jessica, sometimes you are sooooo like, not all there and stuff...hmmm shame on you.
Brit and KFed are breaking up and you don't care...man!! You might not care, but I sooooo like do, you know what I mean?
Gosh darn it..
Then you should, like, totally sign up for CNN breaking news announcements. Seriously, girlfriend! It's literally a lifesaver! Literally!