Written on Monday, March 05, 2007 by Jessica
The guy in this article, Suspect arrested in wife's dismemberment - CNN.com, is allegedly crazy for allegedly cutting up his wife. Well, I have lots of proof that he is in fact crazy.
First of all, he allegedly cuts up his wife in Detroit and then flees north. (North to practically my backyard, by the way. The article names my county, Emmet. I live only two miles from Bliss township. The alleged crazy dude is recovering from hypothermia at the local hospital, which is only three miles from where I'm where I'm sitting now. Gee, we're famous. It was CNN's top story yesterday, so the locals are all aflutter.)
But I digress. I'm supposed to be proving he's nuts. Who flees north to a barren, peopleless wilderness? Go south where there are people and you can blend in! Go south where it's warm (especially if you plan to huddle under a tree in just your shirt, pants and socks -- no wonder he's hypothermic and frostbitten). Go south where you're not trapped by water on three sides! He must've forgotten that Michigan is peninsula.
Okay, okay. You're right. I haven't proven he's crazy. All I've proven is that he's stupid. However, take a look at this photo and tell me he's not a psychopath:
UPDATE: CNN has changed the article. Sigh. I always forget that they change articles related to developing stories. It no longer mentions Bliss township. The local sheriff is no longer quoted as extensively. I guess his fifteen minutes of fame is about up. I wish I would've thought to quote some of the info. At least then it wouldn't sound like I was making stuff up. :)